Mesh Gautam

I feel immense growth,
like something inside my chest
feels absolutely free,
unchained melodies,
like my body was invited
to engage,
to deeply listen,
to be heard, felt, seen,
for the complete masterpiece,
that it is.
I felt tickled
by the beauty
of laughter and giggles,
as though I’d been waiting
to preserve these memories
and so here I am
polishing, varnishing, dressing
the nostalgic fragrance of
Bitterwormwood
that greeted me, reminded
the child of the mountain
to look into the mirror
and witness the mighty flow
of the river emerging,
spilling, flooding,
moisturizing the portrait
of who I am.
I see that view,
I hear the screech,
I hear you.
I am in a place
where it feels like
I can show up
or actually,
I can display myself...
something tells me
I don’t need
those blessings,
I just need to be,
lock myself up,
throw away the keys,
so that the streets
will swallow
every bit of me,
every bit of them,
every bit of us.
Like I dunno
but I feel like
awkward, greeted, thrashed
all at the same time
when the waves
hit and thrash
and when I come out
after the swim
it feels dizzy
like I’ve been moulded
into something else
altogether.
when I show up
I feel like an alien
a beautiful exotic one
like the Macaws,
who were up on display,
up for grabs,
25 bucks a photo,
loud and visible and just
out there... u know?
it wasn’t the same
with Idk the ‘man’ or ‘woman’
next to me
......